I wonder what heavens like, if I really want to go there. If it is perfect, then what is there to complain about?, It comforts me to complain, I'd want to be comfortable. But nothing's perfect, so what is it, just average? If heaven's only average I doubt hell would be much worse. What if I don't like it in heaven?, or further, what if I don't get in?. What if when I get there everything is made specifically, but not for me?, what if I hate it?, then will I get sent to hell? or will I remain there? What if heaven truly is different for everyone?, then will I ever see those that I love and miss again or will they be pushed into a separate after life, one in which we're apart. One where I don't get to see them again.
I want to go to heaven, but I don't want to end up just being disappointed. I want another chance to see those I have lost, to let them know how much I truly cared. I want to have a reason to not fear death, to know that after it I'll be comforted in the land of the lord. I want to be happy with my life, and not spend everyday fearing it being my last. I want to know the answers to a thousand questions a day. I want to know about the afterlife, heaven, hell. The truth about the afterlife, heaven, and hell.
And if I do never see those I miss. I cared about you all so much, and I hope your version of heaven keeps you happy, lets you smile, lets you know we care. Lets you know we cry upon hearing your name, and smile upon remembering your actions. You were all amazing people, and I honestly hope with all my heart, your up there, smiling, proud of those you were forced to leave behind.
~S
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